We've all felt the defeat of pursuing an exciting goal, only to hit a brick wall.

And when you do hit that wall, you begin to wonder if it's even possible for you to succeed. Or are you fooling yourself? Should you just give up and accept your fate? You may even start to lose hope and worry you'll fall into a downward spiral.

Then you wonder about those other people. The "everything they touch turns to gold" people. If you're anything like me, you may have even asked yourself "How can I become that person?"

Facts:  The truth is, if you could talk to those people, they'd almost always tell you about a journey that started from exactly this same spot.

Success is a step-by-step journey that you brainwash yourself into at every step of the way. Here's how:

1) Combine a big vision for motivation with stackable, easy, early wins to build confidence.

Without this step, you will give up early in the process and start to stack losses instead of wins.

For example, let's say you're learning about trading. The big vision is financial freedom, and the small, winnable goal is making your first 25% profit on a $100 trade.

2) Manage your expectations. Reward the learning process, not the outcomes. This will build habits, beliefs, and neural networks for continued mastery.

Without this step, you'll doubt your ability to achieve the goal. You'll feel defeated and spiral downwards.

For example, a 25% profit would be great. However, losing $100 is not a big deal because the things you are learning will pay off more in the long run. You realize that you can learn a lot in your first trades. And, you are proud of taking your first steps toward mastering trading. A master trader is calm and trades from nuanced experience. This lets them see details that an unskilled, emotional trader cannot. They make the same trades, but the outcomes differ substantially. Remember, they didn't start at this level. They got into this position in life by starting at the beginning and learning along the way. Celebrate yourself for doing that too.

3) Build trust in yourself. With self-trust, you have the confidence and drive to stay the course to win.

Self-doubt and fear can lead us to the very outcome we dread.

For example, you might say that you will research and implement three trading strategies this week but only have time to do one and lose faith in yourself by the end of the week because you didn't follow through. If instead, you start your week by promising to learn and test one trading strategy, you will end the week with solid knowledge. You will feel more confident and trust yourself to follow through with your next goal.

You can do this too

Remember, your goal is not to wake up one day a changed person with changed life circumstances. This expectation leads to disappointment and a downward spiral. Your goal is to win consistently. Your goal is to set realistic, but bigger, goals that let you learn along the way.

She Did It

Take the example of Janet Zuccarina, a 58-year-old self-made millionaire. Janet was a high school dropout. Now, she's a happy, confident millionaire who owns 12 restaurants across North America but she had to navigate growing pains along the way too.

At 30, she opened her first restaurant even though everyone she knew urged her not to do it. She had no reason to believe she could do it. Her friends and family strongly discouraged her. But, she had nothing to lose, and she was willing to learn. She says the advice she would go back and give her 30-year-old self if she could is "There's no need to go faster, build that foundation. I think people move too quickly, I've seen a lot of people blow up because of that and lose everything. I made sacrifices in my life so I could make bigger moves and have a bigger life later. If you expand too quickly and don't have the resources, it's a recipe for disaster." Imagine the difference between Janet's mindset then as a 30-year-old woman opening her first restaurant and now as a 58-year-old millionaire with a restaurant empire. 

Janet's story is a great example of what happens when you use the three steps above. We can all brainwash ourselves for success and reach our goals when we take the right approach!

If you enjoyed learning how to brainwash yourself for success, sign up for my newsletter. I'll keep you out of the grips of mediocrity every Saturday morning.

Until next week,

Kristen